Let’s play a completely hypothetical (and definitely not alarming) game: what would it take for Europe to hand over Greenland to Donald Trump—for free?
Simple. All we need is oil to hit $350 per barrel and stay there for six straight months. At that point, European leaders might not just reconsider energy policy—they might start wrapping Greenland in gift paper just to get prices back under $100.
After all, John D. Rockefeller didn’t become legendary by drilling alone—he mastered the art of controlling and regulating the flow of oil. History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does love a good sequel.
Now imagine the Gulf region continuing its favorite pastime: instability. Enter Donald Trump, stepping into the chaos as the world’s self-appointed oil dealmaker. Not a producer, not a consumer—just the guy in the middle taking a tidy $50-per-barrel “facilitation fee.”
In this scenario, the pitch practically writes itself: the U.S. military secures global oil transport routes, tankers sail safely, and America collects the commission. Energy flows, markets calm down, and the U.S. Treasury starts looking like it just discovered a cheat code.
And Greenland? Well, at $350 oil, it might just be the complimentary side dish in the world’s most expensive energy deal.
At some point, they’ll name avenues in Paris, London, Rome and Brussels after Donald Trump