SATIRE — Joe Biden has been appointed EU Special Envoy for Oil and Gas after Brussels discovered an extraordinary strategic alignment: neither side is entirely sure what it is doing.
Commission officials reportedly praised Biden’s ability to sign energy policies without being distracted by what they actually contain.
“He’s perfect,” said one Berlaymont insider. “We’ve been doing that for years.”
Biden immediately accepted the position — although sources say he may not know yet.
The EU, however, does appear to have a strategy: cut off as much oil and gas supply as possible before winter, let Europeans freeze in the dark, and proudly announce that the resulting collapse in energy consumption has reduced the continent’s carbon footprint.
Brussels described the plan as “climate neutrality through hypothermia.”
